Sunday, September 26, 2010

Saturday, September 25, 2010

>thinks that the whole point of having a cake is to eat it. Why can you not have your cake and eat it too?!?!?!

>⎝⏠⏝⏠⎠

>This space for rent.

>our house is protected by the good Lord and a gun, you might meet both if you show up not welcome son.

>Negative candles are cantdles??

>Similarities between the World Cup and Obama: Over-rated, foreign people love it, the Kenyan team wins, and it only happens once in 4 years.

>scratch here ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ to reveal today’s status.

>Build a man a fire he’s warm for a day, set him on fire and he’s warm the rest of his life.

>A good pun is its own reword.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

The most Funniest Status Updates For You!!


>feels like getting some work done…and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.

>is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while…

>doesn’t suffer from insanity… he enjoys every minute of it.

>is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark

>“Good morning…I see the assassins have failed.”

>Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.

>is normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.

>is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf’s a minute

>Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.

>Have you noticed that the “lol” symbol looks like a drowning guy? I bet he’s not laughing out loud.

>isn’t sure what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.

>is thinking of you…and the money you owe me and how much I would like it.

>would love to help you out. Which way did you come in?

>After thoroughly scouring your Facebook profile, I’ve decided that you can go to hell.

>On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, my anger level is a 7.

>Facebook helps me dislike old friends in new ways.

>hates people that take drugs… customs for example

>‘s status today is brought to you by the letters W T F

>is scheduled on MySpace until noon. Facebook at 12:01.

>My status has a crush on someone.

>I don’t know what you’re talking about………..I didn't steal your status.