The most Funniest Status Updates For You!!

>feels like getting some work done…and so he is sitting down until the feeling passes.

>is color blind and trying to solve a rubiks cube… This could take a while…

>doesn’t suffer from insanity… he enjoys every minute of it.

>is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark

>“Good morning…I see the assassins have failed.”

>Be nice to nerds, Chances are you will be working for them.

>is normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.

>is experiencing life at a rate of several wtf’s a minute

>Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.

>Have you noticed that the “lol” symbol looks like a drowning guy? I bet he’s not laughing out loud.

>isn’t sure what your problem is, but I bet it’s hard to pronounce.

>is thinking of you…and the money you owe me and how much I would like it.

>would love to help you out. Which way did you come in?

>After thoroughly scouring your Facebook profile, I’ve decided that you can go to hell.

>On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, my anger level is a 7.

>Facebook helps me dislike old friends in new ways.

>hates people that take drugs… customs for example

>‘s status today is brought to you by the letters W T F

>is scheduled on MySpace until noon. Facebook at 12:01.

>My status has a crush on someone.

>I don’t know what you’re talking about………..I didn't steal your status.

COOOL!!!! Images To Tag!!

here you go!! a cool image so that you can tag your friends!! HAVE FUNN!!!!

Status Collection..

> This just in... Apple has just hired LeBron James to fix the iPhone problem signal!
knows how to stop the BP Oil leak from putting out... Just put a giant wedding ring on it!

> says finally an iPhone killer... You're left hand!

> says Hello ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me.

> is a little down since nobody wished him a happy birthday today, which isn't surprising really, since it isn't my birthday.

> is wondering if you choke a smurf... what colour would he turn?

>hates it when people say stuff in their status updates that you really didn't want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poo.

> not only had to take his mom to the prom.. he had to pay her $20...

> You f***ing do. You go out in public and it’s a f***ing embarrassment. You look like a f***ing bitch on heat.!@#$$@#$... SORRY Mel Gibson was updating my status update.

> has breaking news.. many iPhone4 users are irrate that their wireless signal suddenly drops. Steve Jobs said the problem is in the software and recommends that they download the latest version of Apple's iDon'tcare.

> Prachanda is the new primeminister!! Nah!! just kidding!!

>Good Morning! Someone just shot my school principal!! damn! it was just a dream!

Some more status updates

> ...everything happens for a reason, altough sometimes its hard to find what that reason is?? xx?

> I wish life had an undo button

> "Can We Pretend That Air planes in the night sk-" "No, We Can't, Because It's Impossible. So Shut The Fuck Up."

> is scleaning his room and finding things he never he you had....

> Jacob: "Let's face it, I'm hotter than you." <3

> Have you ever just looked at someone and automatically felt annoyed?

> I have to practice for exam !!!! *opens study book* ... boring *closes study book* time to go on FACEBOOK! :D

> "yhU w@NnA qo?" "Go where, grammar school?"

Best Statuses i've come accross so far..

> Liking your own status is like high fiving yourself in public..

> Hm... you got uglier after we broke up...:)

> Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance

> Jacob:I Kissed Bella, and she broke her hand......punching my face

> you're going to miss what you could've had--- a girl that would have done anything to be your everything..

> I listen to my Ipod to isolate myself from society.

> Who live in a Pineapple under the sea? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!! Who died in a oil spill because of BP? SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!!

> Bella: " I know what you are." Edward: Say it... Out loud.".... Bella: Gay.

> Screw a Wish...I could really use a drink right now.

> Life is too short to stress yourself with people who don't even deserve to be an issue in your life..:)

> Can we pretend that goldfish, in the fishbowl, are like fairly godparents, I could really use a wish right now.

> Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts :: Others come into our lives and make us wanna leave footprints on their face.

> Hi Is Angelina There?" NO. she died :).

> So you can pay $326436262642436234 on a commercial for starving kids, but you can't feed them?

> "can you come over?" .."my mom said no"...best excuse ever.

> Child: mum when your out can i go on the computer. Mum: only for a little while. Child: Okayy. *mum gone* *child on the computer the whole time* *before mum gets home delete history* :D

> why do people start drama when they know they are going to lose the fight anyways so save us some time and give up!